


Life and Death: Outtakes

by Crystallinee



Series: Living Is Your Latest Fashion [4]
Category: Suicide Squad (2016)
Genre: AU, Clown Baby, Deleted Scenes, F/M, Family, Gen, Jarley - Freeform, Jaylie Quinn (Lucy), Loving Relationship!, Parent-Child Relationship, Romance
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2020-11-25
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:40:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,883
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27716236
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Crystallinee/pseuds/Crystallinee
Summary: A collection of “deleted scenes” from my fanfic Life and Death, featuring the clown couple of crime and their daughter.
Relationships: Joker (DCU)/Harleen Quinzel
Series: Living Is Your Latest Fashion [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/555277
Comments: 6
Kudos: 13





	Life and Death: Outtakes

**Author's Note:**

> These are scenes that either didn’t fit the narrative flow or were removed for other reasons, or were partially written later. For the full story and backstory for Jaylie, read my fanfic Life and Death. This is supposed to be a small companion work with additional scenes. 
> 
> Dedicated to my readers - I finished this because of you. Thank you for reading!

The henchman known as Fleshie was weary. He was good with the hands-on stuff, whenever brute strength was involved and all he had to do was push a trigger. It paid well and there were never any questions. Get in, get it done, get out.

This was a whole other kind of job, and only fingertip delicacy was useful. There was no way to expect what would happen. Being stationed at the hideout had its perks but he would rather deal with the Boss any day. As he made his way up the stairs to the penthouse he decided he would send another guy next time - they would have to toss coins or play rock paper scissors, as long as he got a break. He knocked on the door to the entrance of the apartment but got no reply.

Harley Quinn had made it very clear that she would not wait a second longer than necessary, so he knocked again, but when he got no answer he opened the door and went inside. The living room was messy, like usual.

It was empty and the whole place was eerily quiet. Usually she would be at the door ready to receive whatever she had ordered. If he was late with another food delivery there was no telling what she would do - invite him for dinner or throw a knife at him, it could go either way.

Carefully he put the bag with take-out food down on an end table. "Miss Quinn? Food delivery."

Still not a sound. He was wary, because she never left the place, and curious to see their living space. He was aware of the rules, this was their private sphere. But his job description included taking care of whatever she needed, and making sure she did not burn the house down or drown herself in the bathtub while the Boss was away.

Fleshie looked around and saw nothing but strewn clothes. He stepped into a room with a large double bed, silk strings hanging from the ceiling and various items scattered across the floor. Napkins, a stuffed kitty, a pacifier, a gun and a dagger on the bedside table, among spare bullets and tiny pink socks. The heavy purple curtains were drawn and the room was encased in dusk. He stopped in his tracks.

Harley Quinn was sleeping on the bed. He had never seen her look so tired, wearing no makeup, messy strands of hair around her face and deep shadows underneath her eyes – she didn't resemble the sparkling figurine he had seen in glimpses before, or the erratic, trigger happy figure he had dealt with for the last months. For once, Harley looked... exhausted. The baby was lying on her chest.

He was about to leave when he saw the baby's face. Maybe he was still high.

It had opened its eyes and it looked... as if it was _studying_ him. He was almost sure of it. A few months old baby was _watching_ him and it sent a sense of discomfort down his spine. Yet he was almost hypnotized by it. Harley snored with open mouth and mumbled something. When she turned he realized that she was barely dressed, only wearing a silk gown that was about to slide open between her legs.

He definitely shouldn't be in here.

He quickly turned to leave but didn't hear the steps until they were next to him. Joker's face filled his vision, his eyes rimmed red.

Fleshie stumbled over his words. "Boss, I was just, I was delivering –"

Something wound around his neck, a thick leather belt, and he choked.

"Shhhh," the Joker said, glee lighting up his eyes. Fleshie tried not to struggle too much, but his oxygen was quickly draining.

Through his blurring vision he saw Harley get up from the bed, faster than he thought anyone could move after sleeping so deeply. She grabbed her dagger, then made her way over with the baby in her arms. He could see the outline of her breasts underneath her gown and silently prayed. She was probably going to join in and put his head on a pole.

"Wait, Puddin'," she said, rocking the baby unevenly with one arm. "I want M&Ms. Let him get 'em before ya off 'im." She pouted, leaning forward. She really did look weary, almost bony, and she was as pale as as sheet. Maybe she was sick.

The Joker sent her a glare, before suddenly releasing his grip on the belt. It hit the floor with a dull metallic thud as Fleshie stumbled to the side, gasping.

"Off ya go, Fleshie. Get me some cigars while you're at it."

"Yes, Boss –"

"Not in front of the _baby_!" Harley gnarled at him.

"What, ya think she'll turn out to be a cigar-smoking mobster?" He cackled.

"No smokin' in this room," Harley withheld, making him growl back at her. Fleshie took his chance to flee but he knew that Quinn won the argument, like always.

He almost forgot the stare of that kid as he hurried down to the nearest convenience store - like usual these days, he had to wear civil clothing that wouldn't make anyone alert the police. He loaded the requested items and an extra pack of diapers on the counter, so Quinn wouldn't send him down at three a.m. and smiled smoothly at the store owner.

When he returned to the penthouse, he found them both lounging on the couch in the main room. Harley was watching something on the flat screen, leaning against her partner. The baby was sleeping on her shoulder.

The Joker reached for his gun when Fleshie approached with the requested items, but Harley perked up. "Not in here, Puddin'! It's bad for her ears!"

He gave her a look that would have made anyone run for cover, and not even Harley was immune. Defying him in front of his men had got her punished before.

But she glared back at him and he could practically hear the Boss' grills being ground to a fine metal dust. They exchanged that look for what felt like an eternity while Fleshie waited for his doom. They didn't even seem to take any notice of him, caught up in their silent measuring of the resistance.

"Alright," J said, abruptly standing up and waving with his weapon. "Outside."

Harley's interest waned and she turned her face back toward the screen, following the cartoon characters with great interest.

"Please, Boss," Fleshie tried, begging for his life.

The Joker stared at him for another few moments before bursting out in cackles. Harley giggled, so the baby rocked back and forth from her movements, and the couple enjoyed themselves for a few minutes. Fleshie accepted it - being the clown was better than being dead.

When J's face turned blank again Fleshie expected to die but was instead shoved out of the penthouse. "Oh," Joker added before closing the door, his smile warning enough. "Better keep ya mouth shut, delivery boy."

* * *

Something was creepy about that kid. Fleshie couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was, but it was something. He eventually forgot about it, until a couple of months later.

They all stayed clear of Harley when they could, but now and then when the Boss was away for days, she would come down to the henchmen's living area. Sometimes she looked for Frost to convince him to play scribble with her or even engaged with the rest of them, or demanded ice-cream. He guessed that she had not left the building much since the kid was born, since someone was always stationed to stay in with her. He guessed she was clawing at the walls by now, and he almost felt bad for her. Almost.

He was playing a round of poker in the main room with two other guys - it was their turn to keep an eye on Harley. Whatever the hell that meant, because the woman in question stayed upstairs in the penthouse most of the time and you didn't just _keep an eye_ on Harley around here, at least not if you wanted to keep it.

Boss had been away for a day, something that wasn't unusual, but they all stopped to look when Harley made her way into the henchmen's living room. For once she was dressed enough, wearing some sort of fluffy one-piece with cat ears. She carried the baby on her arm.

They all knew that looking at Quinn for too long was never a good idea so they turned their eyes away as she skipped over to the table and grinned at them, all red lips and white teeth. In the corner of his eyes, Fleshie saw one of the other guys, a rookie, swallow nervously.

"Watcha doin'?" she asked. The baby was sucking on its fist, watching them. Fleshie felt the same discomfort in the back of his mind. _Come on._ _It's as dumb as a baby squid. Squids aren't smart, right?_

"Playin'," the nervous guy, more commonly known as Eyeball, replied.

"Me and Jaylie are _so_ bored. Can I join? I won't cheat, I promise." She winked at them, before pulling back the spare chair and sitting down by the table, still holding the baby. It made a sound and she cooed back, rubbing her nose against its face with a delighted squeal and kissing its forehead.

"Let's play a game of good ol' cards," she decided, and they complied. The first two rounds went well, Harley was set on winning, and when the baby started squirming, she put it down on the floor. "Be a good girl now for Mommy."

It could sit on its own now, Fleshie guessed it must have grown. He glanced at it while they started up a new round and saw that it sat perfectly still in its red onesie. It sat there and looked intently at Harley with wide blue eyes, who occasionally blew her a kiss or said a cooing word in baby language. The baby gave no response.

After a while it looked at the men around the table and then stared blankly at Fleshie. When he decided to look back, it turned its head and avoided eye contact.

It threw him off the game and he only snapped out of it when Harley rose from her chair and cheered loudly because she had won this round too. Eyeball applauded nervously and the third guy around the table, a muscular, gruff guy who no one knew the name of but the Joker occasionally referred to as Goat, just looked impassively at the cards.

He wondered why the hell he was so fixated on the kid because he noticed before Harley when it - she - with a bit of a struggle got her plump body on all fours and crawled away, around the table and then past it.

"Um, Miss Quinn –" he started but she had noticed, giggling. "She just wants to explore. She's been _so_ bored all cooped up."

Never mind that the place was littered with loaded weapons and sharp objects.

"Let's play another game." Harley thought for a moment. "I know, strip poker! But –" she held up a finger and pointed a warning. "Only you guys are going to strip."

Eyeball and Fleshie exchanged a look. The third man scoffed something underneath his breath and looked as if he was about to leave the room but Harley didn't let him off the hook.

"In return," she said, "I'll give ya candy!" She produced a package of some colorful stuff from her pocket and waved it around.

Goat looked as if he was about to say something rude but he was smart enough to know that he should save it for later and Eyeball seemed to have resigned to his fate. Fleshie heard a thud coming from the other room and guessed the squid must have done something.

He thought of his last encounter with the kid and supposed he was better off letting it happen. Quinn was so focused on her sugar rush that she probably had forgotten all about it.

As Harley instructed Eyeball, Fleshie quickly made his way into the next room to find the squid standing on her short legs, reaching up to the couch and the gun lying there.

"No," he said quietly, as if the squid would be smart enough to understand him. She turned her blonde head but then ignored him completely. Her tiny hand graced the holster of the automatic weapon; she was too short to grab it, but she would soon enough pull it over herself. Fleshie thought of his brother's kids – that he would probably never see again since his brother got locked up – and if the kid shot itself when he was present, death would come either way so he didn't have much of a choice.

He reached out and caught the little squid, surprised by how soft and warm she felt, and pulled her away from the couch. She made a little sound of surprise, almost frustration, and those eyes looked at him again. She had a tiny wrinkle between her eyebrows.

"Your dad might be smart, but you're really just a baby squid," he said, relieved.

"Who's a squid?" a sharp voice said from behind them and Harley approached, her stance one that he recognized – it was time to get the hell out of here before she deemed him a threat to her kid. It could turn around really fast; as other henchmen had painfully experienced.

He turned around, standing up warily as he handed over the baby to her. He couldn't admit that he'd compared her baby to her favorite food either but she resolved the situation for him. "Aren't ya the cutest little squid in the whole wide world, Puddin' Pie!"

He barely had time to register his relief when another voice was heard, and they both stopped to listen.

" _Harls_!"

"Oh, Puddin' wonders where I am," she said, before quickly handing over the baby to Fleshie again and skipping out of the room. He was dumbfounded – knowing the situation was far from over – and entered the main room again, carrying the baby hesitantly.

Harley was already in the arms of her partner, kissing him and wrapping her arms around him. "I've missed ya, Puddin'." His arms were around her waist, but his eyes were, as always, taking in the whole room and noticing – Fleshie holding his kid.

Fleshie had been working for the Joker long enough to know that any day could be his last, and this was a reminder. Dead because of the squid, who wasn't smart enough to realize that the biggest danger around was her own parents. He could only really wish that whatever Boss did to him would be quick.

"Fleshie's the babysitter," Harley explained when she tore her eyes away from the Joker's face long enough to see what had captured his attention.

"Is he now?" he replied, his stare blank. Just like the squid's. _I really should stop calling her that, but it's too late anyway._

"Uh, I just – she got too close to the weapons – "

The Joker strode over to Fleshie. The squid squirmed at the sight of him, giving an affirmative "Da!" before falling silent. Maybe she was smarter than he gave her credit for.

He looked at her with a calculating calm and she was perfectly still again, watching her father. Then he turned his attention to Fleshie who tried to look unimposing. He quickly offered the kid and the Joker took her, giving a cold smile back. "Ya know, I like ya, Fleshie."

Fleshie swallowed.

"Hey, we never finished strip poker!" Harley interrupted. "Eyeball, get over here! Where's that other guy?"

The Joker turned to her in one movement, but she didn't miss a beat, her smile as charming as usual. "I promised them candy!"

His grin mirrored hers. "You're already scheduled this afternoon, my dear."

"Oh?" Harley drew closer to him, letting him hand over the baby back to her. "Ya gonna take me somewhere?"

"I just might," he mumbled. His hand cupped her face and he leaned in to let his mouth run along her earlobe. She shivered, pressed to his front. Fleshie felt a strong urge to withdraw, like the rest of them, but he didn't dare to leave until he was dismissed.

"I'm gone for one day and _look at you_ ," he mumbled into her ear. "Torturing my poor goons..." He shook his head, clicking his tongue.

She breathed faster, her eyes widening as she ran her free hand across his coat. "I'm _bored."_

His voice turned into a low growl. "Why is that, Harley?" His fingers stroked the side of her face, a warning. "Ya got what ya wanted."

"Yeah, and I'm gonna get a babysitter."

"They work for _me_ , Harls." He stared her down.

"Fleshie can watch her for an hour or two." Fleshie was frozen in place as the couple turned to glance at him.

_Don't let me babysit the squid. Please -_

"Or Frosty?" Harley suggested. There was a noticeable shift in the atmosphere. The Joker's shoulders drew up, then relaxed.

At last, he shrugged. His arm wound around Harley's waist and she followed him up to the penthouse with a victorious smile. 

**Author's Note:**

> Comments are always loved.


End file.
